Well, I just got my high school graduation present- my very own netbook. So, with this new little gadget, i can actually post everyday instead of my once every couple of months. I'm too lazy to go check what the last thing was that i posted so i'm just going to start talking about what ever the hell i want.
So I don't know if i've shared where i'm going to college but it's not Monterey so i'm kinda bummed. It sucks not being able to go to your first choice school... or second... or third... or fouth. Yes, I am going to my fifth choice school. Here are the crappy reasons why:
1) My parents refused to let me attend Monterey
2) I was weight listed for san jose
3) I was not accepted to pamona
4) Humboldt was too damn cold
so yes, fifth choice is Fresno state.
But really, i'm not as angry as i could be becuase i've kinda found the silver lining. So my intended future career is to be a veterinarian, but for all the previously mentioned schools, excepting Fresno, my major was some sort of branch off of veterinary, like marine bio, zoology, ect. So i'm taking it as a sign to remind me to stay on course and not get side tracked from what i believe my true calling is.
okay, so thats the light stuff; Here comes the heavy shit.
My sister has come home from santa cruz for the summer, and she's brought along her boyfriend. I had been pretty busy the couple days following their arrival so i hardly saw them but then a day before my high school graduation, i spent the entire day with them. And i learned something very very... interesting that morning. I was barely awake, lounging in my parents bed since my sister was still asleep (or so i thought) in our room and her boyfriend was asleep in the living room, and both my parents were at work. So i was in the middle of reading a book when my sister walks in and sits on the edge of my parents bed. She starts giving me a warning about what she was about to tell me and i was getting scared. The she finally spits it out. My sister and her boyfriend are 'sexually active'... my sister is a little over a year older then me... and she's having sex? It was a lot to take in at once. She was checking my face for a reaction but i was in stunned silence. What the hell am i supposed to say? "It's ok"? But i'm not at all ok with it. I have a purity ring... I thought my sister shared my same christian values. But at the same time, how could i admit to her that i'm disappointed and that i'll never be able to look up to her the way i once did. So i did the only thing i could, i nodded and left the room. I dislike my sisters boyfriend but I don't know if it's because of his personality or the fact that he fucking 'deflowered' my sister. I still haven't really let my emotions out over it and it's eating me up inside... I really wish she hadn't told me. I could have lived peacefully in ignorant bliss. But the worst part is, I think part of me already knew before she even told me...
After my graduation, My sister's boyfriend was driving, my sister was in the passenger seat and my sister's best friend and i were in the back seat. He isn't the best driver, having run a red light the previous day, but things got worse. He was crossing a street the goes through a neighborhood and he didn't see a car coming toward us. We got hit on the side by someone going straight toward us. Luckily, no one was hurt. But it was a very crazy experience. Everything happened in slow motion... i saw the car driving towards us, and i looked at my sister. My mind went blank and then i feel the car get knocked sideways about a yard... then it was over. I was shaking then i was crying, then i heard my sister screaming at her boyfriend. When i say that this happened "after my graduation" i mean, we had just left the ceremony five minutes before this all took place. In that one second of slow motion, I just thought of how much damn time i wasted in school just to die now. My sister was furious at Alex, I was a wreck, and stephanie was a little dazed. After alex and the lady in the other car exchanged info, we drove to my grandparents house and celebrated my graduation, but in all honesty i was not there mentally.
That night i went over to my friends house before heading to grad night, which was held at my high school. I had a mini break down, the whole ordeal was too much for me to handle. Alyssa felt bad for me but she didn't know what to say and i don't blame her because i wouldn't have a clue of how to sympathize with someone who had gone though the same event. It seems like an over dramatization to call it traumatizing but I'm scared every second that I'm in a car... i don't think i could handle ever going though that ever again. Even though the worst thing that happened was that the car was dented and the paint got scratched, it was the scariest thing i have ever experienced.
I'm a bit too tired to talk about grad night and my Las Vegas trip right now so I'll save that for tomorrow night.
oh, I'm going to install windows 2007 on my laptop tomorrow and then I'm going to start writing a story that I've been wanting to start for a while. I'll post excerpts from it on here once i get it up and running.
I'm exhausted.
Peace out.
-Sabrina
