Thought I'd take a second to update on how my life is going. It's been a little over a year since I've even thought about this blog. God, I had forgotten how angsty I was back in the day.

good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Bad news first I suppose.
I won't be finishing the story on what happened to me. I have several reasons for this choice.
I've finally reached a point in my life where I finally have a sense of closure. I was 15 when it started and 17 when it ended. It was two very strange years of my life in which I made so very awful mistakes but learned important lessons and made some amazing memories. I'll always have a place in my heart for everyone that was involved and I'll never forget how much and how deeply I loved him. But i'm soon to be 21 and I need to move on with my life and not be hung up on the actions of my young self. I no longer have the pressure inside, threatening to burst if I don't spill out what happened to me. I have a whole new life in a whole new place. I sincerely wish them all the best of luck in all their endeavors and I truly believe all of them, especially him, feel the same towards me.
Now for the good news!
I've recently delved back into the world of dating and it's turned out to be more the circus than I had remembered so from now on I vow to keep angsty posts to a minimum and instead opt to share the sad but mostly hilarious stories of my dating experiences along with silly anecdotes about my ridiculous life. I hope that doesn't sound too vapid and boring. I promise to make it as enjoyable as possible.

Full disclosure- I joined (at the insistence of my best friend) a dating site. It's ridiculous. I've been on several dates. With varying levels of success, I've finally gotten the hang of how to weed through the bad ones to get to the winners. For your enjoyment, I present some of the pathetic attempts and frankly frightening messages I've received.

"Wow, you're freaking gorgeous....... 6foot 1 athletic veteran helicopter pilot, amazing job, sweet, caring, generous, smart....only reason I'm single is my 1 kink/hang up.... I'm always faithful but enjoy my gfs sleeping with other men...I know... Weird...but lets chat? "

 What the heck. I didn't even know what to make of that one. I mean, who tells a girl, in their first message to who, that they have a really creepy fetish? EW!

"Hi how are u doing? I'm looking for a good kind hearted. An sweet an funny women. An i look inside not on the out side. Cuse look are just looks they can change but inside is where u get to really know the person. Cuse I was raised better then that u treat a women like a queen. An u dnt put her down u do anything u can to bring her up when she is down. An u never ever lay your hand on a women. An u open doors for her. An u listen to her when she wants to talk. An u be there for her no mater what"

I've always known that I can never date anyone less intelligent than myself, so clearly this poor fellow didn't get a reply from me.

"Just wanted to say I find you very attractive. If I got to know you, I would invite you over for a romantic dinner and as soon as you arrived, I would pull you close and whisper in your ear "I have a swanson tv dinner in the freezer with your name on it" and then I would proceed to fill a wine glass with welch's grape juice."

So major points for creativity but the level of weird is too overpowering. Sorry sir but you are the weakest link.

"finally, a girl that has a smile that could light up this whole town."

Although I could almost drown in the cheese, I did reply. But sadly, he turned out to be as boring as a loaf of bread. A good opening line does not equal an interesting personality.

"So I was driving around and reading your profile and was very very interested in chatting with you love. I'm ***** (name removed) self made in many ways and open minded at the max. I'm 24 Brazilian Italian mix I speak Russian I'm busy almost never on the weekends lol during the week well different story. I own my house and my cars right out (no payments) I've been considered a gentleman however I know how to be bad if need be, thanks to the 6 years spent as an Ex Navy member I was in Afghanistan for 4 years. Anyways hope that doesn't throw you off now and days most people frown on military people. I don't hate it, it's just that they have no idea or understanding of it. Anyways lol enough about me, hope to hear back from you ;) "

My favorite part is when he tries to guilt me into replying by claiming that civilians hate military men. My best friend is in the national guard, so his argument is simply stupid. He didn't get a reply.

"looking cute in white"

What is he implying here? I look so cute in white that I should get in a wedding dress and marry you right here, right now? No thanks.

"hey how are you? I'm ***** (name removed), I'm 25yr and I'm from **** (removed). Im mostly looking for someone cool to talk to and be friends, if you wanna chat with me. i hope so, you seem really cool lol"

When I didn't reply, he sent me a second message:

"hey, well im sry im not wanting to bug you, i promise. i really would like to make friends and have someone fun to cat with. its kind of embarrassing telling u this, I'm gay. i hope you dont dislike that i am or anything. im not ready to come all the way out yet and i feel really nervous to come out to you. so would u like to chat with me hun?"

Now I wanted to give this guy the benefit of the doubt but there's no way he could come across my profile unless he put down that he was a straight man looking for straight women. Just the idea that a man would lie about being gay just for the sake of getting a girl to talk to him is just so completely insane that I can't really even wrap my brain around it.




I'll keep you guys posted and maybe i'll share some of the horrifically awful dates I've had so far. (One of them involves a scandalous one night stand, alcohol, and The Hobbit...)


- Sabrina <3 font="">




“Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor, and he smells like windex."
"At least you know he's still available.” 
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones