Due to my forgetful behavior, i left my cell phone charger at my friends house and took my sweet time in retrieving my charger. My near-constant use of my cell phone wore the battery out and i was left with no cell phone for two days but i had oter things on my mind so it didn't matter that much. My friend was going to go on vacation so i had to work out some logistics in getting my charger back but eventually i did so and i came home and immediately plugged in my phone. After getting distracted for a few hours a cell phone commercial reminded me about my charging cell phone so i went into my room and turned it on. Three missed calls from an unknown number and a few texts from my friends and a few texts from an unknown numbe, and one voicemail from an unknown number. After listening to the first milisecond of the voicemail, i erased it and immediately turned off my cell in a panic... I don't need my past to haunt me and having these people call me definitley counts as being haunted... Since listening to the voicemail and seeing the texts, i've been getting increasingly paranoid becasue the main issue is that my current living address is unknown to them and i want to keep it that way. I've decided that when i get a new cell phone for my birthday, i am going to get a new number becasue i'm done with these people and i think this is the only way to stop this once and for all. I want to tell my friends but it wouldn't bring any good... For once i'm going to take care of something on my own and not be such a big baby about it. I was stupid, i made a mistake, i paid for it, and now i'm finished.
So besides that i've been working on a few different projects. First of all, i'm redecoratio9ng my room and the color theme is royal blue, black, and white. I want it to be mature and feminine and me. Second, I'm writing a song about everything that's happened, its about 1/6th done... and last, i'm giving myself a complete renovation. I want to change everything about me, so far i'
ve changed my hair and some of my wardrobe. I'm tired of the skinny jeans, band t-shirt, hoodie that i wear all the time. I'm done with the wanna-be-scene-kid thing becasue that's not me. It's who i wanted to be (hence the "wanna-be"). I'm going in a more boho whatev dire3ction. If it's colorful and pretty and not too tight, i'll weaar it. I'm starting to like wearing dresses more and more. I want to dye my hair but i don;t know what color yet, and i want to try new hair styles. Basically, i want to just recreate who i am becasue as corny as it sounds i'm in the middle of a soul crisis. I have nop idea who i am, who i want to be, and what i want to do with my life and i've got to start making a lot of important choices about my future soon so i think it best to start the road to self-discovery asap...
Well as part of that journey i've been looking at colleges and the number one (well... number one realistic cuz my true number one is Cornell but i'll never get into there...) is *drumroll*
yes the winner is CSUMB... i think i may have already written something about that though or i'm just having a weird case of amnesia.
I finally got up the guts to cement my safety date to my senior prom in case i'm too much of a loser to get a date, and like a day after that, me and my safety got into a big fight and i've been worried that my safety isn't so cemented anymore but he just texted me randomly today and acted like nothing had happeed so i am pretty dang confused but whatever...
I applied for a job at seven different places- SEVEN FREAKING PLACES!!- and not a single one has contacted me... am i just so horribly unemployable that they don't want me or is the economy just the bad... or maybe it's both... this really isn't helping because i need to start helping my parents with the bills and i've got to pay for summer camp that my friend wants me to go to because she didn't know anyone last year when she went so she didn't like to go to the mess hall by herself so she didn't eat i can't let her just starve herself again this year but it's a lot of money and i'm freaking out...
For the first time in a long time i'm actually getting into shape again, i'm bike riding a lot, i'm swimming in my pool a lot, and i've been pretty active. Even though i haven't gone to play tennis with my dad in a while, i still feel pretty in shape. BUt my parents have been on my case a lot lately about not eating enough and losing too much weight. I'm over weight and i need to lose some pounds so i don't see the harm in skipping a few meals and trimming down meal portions if its going to help me out in the long run. I'll admit that i am very scarede becasue my family has a huge medical history of diabetes and i sooooooo can't get diabetes... I love food too much.
I think i'm finally becoming cute becasue even when i don't really try with my hair or make-up, guys seems are checking me out and even though i get all red and embarassed i will admit that i take it as a compliment... I used to take an ego blow anytime i was with my friend becasue she is wayyyyy prettier then i could be even on my best of days, but now even when i'm out with her, i'm finally getting looks too. I don't want to seem like i'm an attention whpore or something but it's nice just to know that males find you attractive...
My sister is away on vacation with her best friend so i get to experience single chile life for a while, and it's pretty sweet. Even in the completely insane chance that i miss her, i can just text her so it'snot like she died. But i'm using this week as practice for when she goes away for college, becasue it's seriously going to be like i'm an only child but actually that thought kind of scares me becasue with her gone, ny parentsare going to focusing all their attention on me and i don't think i can handle something like that.
That's all the ridiculous crap i can think of writing, and i apologize for being horrible about updating becasue i think i've stopped being daily and have now become monthly... well it's not like anyone reads this thing anyways...
"If you're feeling low, don't despair. The sun has a sinking spell every night, but it comes back up every morning. The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." Dolly Parton, Singer, What's Love got to do with it
Bella Noche!
Sincerely,
the temporary only child
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