Things have gone topsy turvy very quickly and very mysteriously... The people i hate are suddenly my best friends again, the people who are my best friends have been m.i.a. lately and the people who don't care about me are suddenly interested. And aside from all that, i just had a near mental breakdown today because the reality of college costs just smacked me right in th face. Did you know that every year of college becomes more expensive because every year there are less and less ways that scholarships and grants and such can be attained, so if my freshmen year is going to be so effing difficult to pay for, thinking of the next years where i won't have nearly the same amount of financhial aide is killing me. I have no source of income, no one will hire me, i depend upon my parents and neither of my parents ever graduated college so they both have crappy dead end jobs that don't pay nearly the amount of money that is necessasary to put two girls though college because next year after i finish my senior year it wwill be both my sister and I going to college full time... I'm doomed to a life of payingoff student loans! As extreme as it seems, i think my only real option is to join up and have uncle sam pay for my college education. My entire family would throw histerics if they knew my plans for after high school... I want to join up. Actually, that is not true, i don't want to join up, i NEED to join up becasue i can't let my parents spend what little money they make on my college. My parrents need to keep their money so they can move away from this crappy apartment in this shitty neighborhood. I apologize for the rant but college tuition is going to be the death of me, seriously.
Other news, i think my friend is mad at me becasue i flaked on her but I'm fairly angry at her for getting upset with me because she is the biggest flake i have ever met. How can she not see that she is the pot and i'm the kettle in this situation?!?!?!?! What sucks even worse is that the way she acts and has the moral ridgity of a saint, makes it hard to be angry at her becasue she just makes everything just... ugh, i don't even know how to describe it. I haven't really seen her much since school got out for summer break and in all honesty, i'm slightly glad. I love her to death but i needed a break. I know her intentions are good but when i'm aound her i always feel like i have to be this person who is different then who i realy am and i've grow so tired of being fake. But thanks to her ability to make me feel guilty, i;d never be able to tell her. God, boys have it so fucking easy. Girls have all the problems, while boys just get to float though life with no real worries...
Well to end this post i think i'll tell you about the four awesome things that have been happening lately. First, My sister went with her friend to some lake so i get to experience only child life for a week and since she was going to a lake, it seemed dangerous for her to bring her new laptop along so i've been using it lately (i'm using it to write this actually) and i'm seriously falling ijn love with this little thing, i think it's a netbook or something. It'slike if a lap top had a baby! Second, due to my sisters absence, i've been spending quality time with my dad. We went and saw transformers two days ago, Wolverine yesterday, and Monsters vs. Aliens today. Out of my two parents i have a better relationship with my dad becasue he is calm, cool, and doesn't have the tendency to overreact to everything the same way my mother does... Third, i finally got around to adding some decorations to my room. I put up the black and clear stickers of the new york skyline and i got rid of some of the tacky stuff that was taking up space. I'm going to flip bopth my sisters comforter and mind becasue the undcerside is close to the room color theme i'm going for. I took down some of the posters in my room and i'm probably going to take down the Jonas Brothers one soon becasue I could have sworn that i saw kevin move his head towards me a few nights ago... Fourth and final, I just palyed Monopoly: The Simpsons with my mom and i was doing pretty well, then i was practically broke (i had like three bucks left) and then my amazing luck kicked in and in the end i owned almost every property and had a bunch of hotells. She was paying me hundreds of dollars everytime she rolled the dice. It was fantastic! I ended up winning (obviously) but a lot (again, obviously). It was fun, but i had forgotten how long it takes to finish one stinkin game of monopoly... that game lasted for about two and a half hours!
Okay that is all the rambling i can do for one night.
I'm too lazy to find a quote so i'll make it up right here, right now.
Actually, nevermind, i'll just leave you with two quotes from my dad from today.
Dad: Well i sure hope they finished this bridge (he says while driving over the bridge)
Dad: look, these eggs are from norco... Norco stinks... probably from all their chickens.
I hope you enjoyed that.
I'm actually feeling tired, maybe i'm exhausted from being overly competative for two and a half hours straight... but whatever.
Good night, my little puffins!
(no pic or quote today cuz im too damn lazy and it's too hard on this little laptop... sorry...)
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